Some children have their plans figured out when they’re ten years old. They don’t understand the concept of taxes, cannot pronounce the word misogyny, and certainly do not worry about cleaning the dishes at the end of the day – but what they do know, with their full chest, is that they want to be an astronaut. I knew I wanted to be an astronaut; but then you reach eighth grade, realise that physics is beyond your comprehension, and let that dream go. This is not an isolated incident. Children grow up and, by twenty, realise that something they enjoyed as a child no longer makes sense; maybe they lost interest, or maybe they don't have the resources to achieve it.
People tell us we have time, and a lot of the time we feel like we do too; regardless, sometimes we find ourselves sitting up at night wondering
“What do I want to do?”
“Do I even like what I am working towards?”
And of course, the big bad, looming question –
“Am I running out of time?”
The truth is, you can never really escape it. The thought and fear of being inadequate is indeed our greatest enemy. When life turns out in a way we don’t expect, we feel disappointed; we feel like we are not doing enough to achieve our goals; impostor syndrome sets in; and life feels like she’s only giving you lemons and someone hid the squeezer to make lemonade.
A moment of comfort, though, is knowing that a lot of us are in the same boat. A lot of us are striving for more, and is that such a bad thing?
When you are unclear about what you want to do with your life, or are at a crossroads in your career, or even feel like you are not doing enough to contribute to a job you have chosen, therapy can help you avoid internalizing these experiences that could lead to a negative self-image. Therapy serves as a reminder that sometimes life simply happens and helps you not feel like you are being attacked by it.
The concept of existentialism in psychology emphasises the fact that the awareness of our anxieties, limitations, and mortality allows us to be more accepting of our present. While doing that every day sounds exhausting, you and your therapists can collaborate to set goals that will allow you to make small changes in your life that might bring about positive change. It needs to be reiterated, though, that therapy does not try to fix you; there is nothing to be fixed, but it can help you find that squeezer. You may come to certain realisations that might help you cope with your day-to-day life better, understand your maladaptive patterns, and pay deeper attention to your interpersonal relationships.
Life in your twenties is big, and difficult, and deeply annoying. But remember, one day at a time.